We all tell lies. Maybe just little ones, or maybe only to ourselves, but we all do. Ultimately, most people don’t want to be wrong or the villain of the story. So they lie… I was having a conversation with my mom about something a family member told her, and my mom was accepting this story as an absolute truth — despite her own admission … Continue reading The lies we tell…
Do you ever really know someone? Your partner, your kid, your best friend? Yourself? There is someone that I used to know. Or I thought I knew. They were my best friend. I likely was not theirs, but they were mine. And I was myself. Anxiety, depression, goofy and weird and all. I shared and asked. But this person, they decided to cut me out … Continue reading Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind…
Babadook got out of his cage about two weeks ago. The night I ended up in the Emergency Room (ER), he went with me, and he hasn’t left my side ever since. The only thing Babadook cannot touch – the only part of my life he does not get to participate in – is my time with my baby, Peanut. When she is near me, … Continue reading The return of the Babadook…
My friend, Dr. Jacqueline Irwin, posted the following on facebook:“I’m looking for 6 Sac State Alumni to participate in an advice project for the summer/fall terms. It entails writing or videoing yourself now and then when the term comes, giving some feedback to their questions. The format is 24 pieces of advice/thoughts on life, as I have a theme going now over the last year … Continue reading Twenty-four
Originally posted September 11, 2020 There is a tight pain in my chest and it’s not because of the smoke in the air. If you’ve never seen the movie the Babadook, I suggest you do. It is essentially an allegory for mental disorder. He is that dark place your mind wanders to when you’ve lost your grounding. The rabbit hole of self-doubt and insecurities. I … Continue reading The Babadook (from the archives)
Originally posted January 9,2020 When I was pregnant, I carried Peanut very high and could literally feel her putting tons pressure on my rib cage, making it difficult to breathe or move my upper body. It came to the point where I sneezed and heard a loud POP! – Busted my ribs. I’ve broken ribs before but not being able to take meds or relieve the pressure made … Continue reading Pregnancy & post-partum related excerpts from the archives…
I’m not a stupid person. I’m not naive. I know the state of things. I know the ugliest parts and I’ve been to hell and back. The world is in disarray and there is so much ugliness. And fucking covid… But still…. I choose to see the beauty in the world. I know, I KNOW, this probably sounds like the rantings of a delusional single parent. … Continue reading Choose to see the beauty
El Cuco (Folklore Demond): “why were you so quick to accept my existence?” Holly (investigator): “An outsider can always recognize another outsider.” The Outsider, HBO It is no secret that I used to believe I was meant to be a villain. I was cruel in a way that leaves permanent scars. A lot of my reasoning stemmed from self hatred. Other from being bullied. Classic tale … Continue reading Hi, my name is Teddy, and I’m a recovering villain.
CuiQuee 