Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind…

Do you ever really know someone? Your partner, your kid, your best friend? Yourself? There is someone that I used to know. Or I thought I knew. They were my best friend. I likely was not theirs, but they were mine. And I was myself. Anxiety, depression, goofy and weird and all. I shared and asked. But this person, they decided to cut me out … Continue reading Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind…

summer changes and summer adventures…

We are one week away from the world of Peanut getting a little bit smaller; the departure of my parents to another country will make for quite the adjustment for my tiny human. Don’t get me wrong, she is so damn strong and resilient already at the tender age of two, but it breaks my heart for her to have to spend any time without … Continue reading summer changes and summer adventures…

Endings bring about new beginnings…

A lot of things have changed or are in the process of changing recently. GoDaddy fucked up my old website with my House of Peanut blog so I dumped GoDaddy; my co-host in Pckt Cndy podcast has bailed out on me; my parents are moving in a week to another country… These changes all mark the end of something, and I’ve decided to choose to … Continue reading Endings bring about new beginnings…

Pregnancy & post-partum related excerpts from the archives…

Originally posted January 9,2020 When I was pregnant, I carried Peanut very high and could literally feel her putting tons pressure on my rib cage, making it difficult to breathe or move my upper body. It came to the point where I sneezed and heard a loud POP! – Busted my ribs. I’ve broken ribs before but not being able to take meds or relieve the pressure made … Continue reading Pregnancy & post-partum related excerpts from the archives…

Popular Excerpts from the Archives

April 7, 2020 Perspective, Patience, Purpose People who suffers from PTSD are prone to problematic patterns when placed in positions of perilous predicaments such as a pandemic. My method of survival is perspective, patience, and purpose. When you suffer from any sort of mental health condition (and even when you don’t!) you have to be hyper vigilant and self aware when faced with high stress … Continue reading Popular Excerpts from the Archives

a letter to my daughter on our first mother’s day.

Dear Peanut, Where to begin? I guess… in the beginning… When I was a little girl, all the other little girls wanted to play barbie and ken dolls together. I never did. On the rare occasion that I played the game of the domestic life, all I wanted was babies and puppies. I never knew what I wanted to be, or even who I wanted … Continue reading a letter to my daughter on our first mother’s day.

Hi, my name is Teddy, and I’m a recovering villain.

El Cuco (Folklore Demond): “why were you so quick to accept my existence?” Holly (investigator): “An outsider can always recognize another outsider.” The Outsider, HBO It is no secret that I used to believe I was meant to be a villain. I was cruel in a way that leaves permanent scars. A lot of my reasoning stemmed from self hatred. Other from being bullied. Classic tale … Continue reading Hi, my name is Teddy, and I’m a recovering villain.