I take being a mother very seriously. It is a challenging and beautiful experience that carries very real responsibility and consequences. Because of how deeply I try to honor this role with my heart and soul, I struggle to understand those who take it for granted or worse… There is someone who I recently had … More Mommy dearest…
I’ve decided that the Babadook can’t be a standalone character in my version of him. The original, of course, is a monster from the book, Monster, by Jennifer Kent (who also wrote the screenplay and directed the movie, The Babadook. While I refer to the Babadook as the monster inside my head who is always … More Babadook’s sister, Madadook…
Charles, my sweet companion terrier mix, died… and the Babdook was alive again. “Wait for me on the other side,” was the last thing I got to whisper in Charles ear before he took his last breathe. It was 5:08am (PST). I held him wrapped in a Mexican serape blanket, rocking him and holding him … More And just like that…
I believe Peanut chose me. When you’re trying to have a baby I imagine it to be a bit like an adoption process. Hear me out… If you’ve ever adopted a dog – you know the process. You go to the shelter, walk down the rows of dogs with tags telling you their backstory, and … More I choose you.
Do you ever really know someone? Your partner, your kid, your best friend? Yourself? There is someone that I used to know. Or I thought I knew. They were my best friend. I likely was not theirs, but they were mine. And I was myself. Anxiety, depression, goofy and weird and all. I shared and … More Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind…
We are one week away from the world of Peanut getting a little bit smaller; the departure of my parents to another country will make for quite the adjustment for my tiny human. Don’t get me wrong, she is so damn strong and resilient already at the tender age of two, but it breaks my … More summer changes and summer adventures…
A lot of things have changed or are in the process of changing recently. GoDaddy fucked up my old website with my House of Peanut blog so I dumped GoDaddy; my co-host in Pckt Cndy podcast has bailed out on me; my parents are moving in a week to another country… These changes all mark … More Endings bring about new beginnings…
Originally posted January 9,2020 When I was pregnant, I carried Peanut very high and could literally feel her putting tons pressure on my rib cage, making it difficult to breathe or move my upper body. It came to the point where I sneezed and heard a loud POP! – Busted my ribs. I’ve broken ribs before but not … More Pregnancy & post-partum related excerpts from the archives…
April 7, 2020 Perspective, Patience, Purpose People who suffers from PTSD are prone to problematic patterns when placed in positions of perilous predicaments such as a pandemic. My method of survival is perspective, patience, and purpose. When you suffer from any sort of mental health condition (and even when you don’t!) you have to be … More Popular Excerpts from the Archives
Dear Peanut, Where to begin? I guess… in the beginning… When I was a little girl, all the other little girls wanted to play barbie and ken dolls together. I never did. On the rare occasion that I played the game of the domestic life, all I wanted was babies and puppies. I never knew … More a letter to my daughter on our first mother’s day.