What a weird saying, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
This is going to sound stupid but I used to look forward to Mondays. They are quite possibly my most productive days. But as most of you know, before I had tiny and before the pandemic I worked in a place where I was bullied, harassed, damn near tortured. Then I found this new job and it was like I could finally breathe again. Not only did I forget to prepare for the other shoe to drop, I forgot about the other shoe all together.
I let down my guard and because of that, I have been blindsided. Snarky comments by a new coworker that I brushed off became a full on verbal attack, and although management has been supportive nothing feels the same.
Character assassination has been framed as a disagreement amongst colleagues and I find myself right back there in that dark place of dread and despair. The anxiety has had a chokehold on me that I cannot fight off. This is beyond Babadook vibes.
History is cyclical and behavior is predictable. In every job I eventually encounter a fragile ego that chooses me as their punching bag. Cornering me in a no-win situation where I can’t be too loud or I am an “emotional”, “firey Latina”, “dramatic queer” or just being a “freak.”
Like I always tell y’all, people are painfully predictable if you pay attention. I even knew how others would react and behave during the ripple effect of the aftermath before they even did.
I forgot to prepare for the other shoe to drop. And just like that, it’s hard to breathe again.